Men – You Don’t Wanna Do It (Pornography & Adultery)

I love music. It has ways of communicating messages in ways that wouldn’t happen in other forms of communication. It helps make words memorable. It helps make messages stick in the mind.

You Don't Wanna Do It (Adultery & Pornography)

Lecrae has a new album. It is excellent. The messages and ideas he sends out in this album are deep and impactful. A message of his I want to emphasize is this: Men – You don’t wanna do it.

I want to take a minute to highlight a song, and yes, this is directed primarily towards men. (I thought this post was about pornography and adultery? It is, just trust me, but you need to listen to the song below and read the passages from Proverbs first.)

The song is called runners. Take 3 minutes and 4 seconds to listen to this song. And when I say listen, I actually mean pay attention to the words and process the message instead of just grooving to the beat.

Now I want you to take another 3 minutes and 54 seconds to read through these two passages from the book of Proverbs. The book of Proverbs is like God’s practical wisdom advice for living life.

My son, pay attention to my wisdom;
    listen carefully to my wise counsel.
Then you will show discernment,
    and your lips will express what you’ve learned.
For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey,
    and her mouth is smoother than oil.
But in the end she is as bitter as poison,
    as dangerous as a double-edged sword.
Her feet go down to death;
    her steps lead straight to the grave.
For she cares nothing about the path to life.
    She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it.

So now, my sons, listen to me.
    Never stray from what I am about to say:
Stay away from her!
    Don’t go near the door of her house!
If you do, you will lose your honor
    and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved.
10 Strangers will consume your wealth,
    and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor.
11 In the end you will groan in anguish
    when disease consumes your body.
12 You will say, “How I hated discipline!
    If only I had not ignored all the warnings!
13 Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers?
    Why didn’t I pay attention to my instructors?
14 I have come to the brink of utter ruin,
    and now I must face public disgrace.”

15 Drink water from your own well—
    share your love only with your wife.
16 Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,
    having sex with just anyone?
17 You should reserve it for yourselves.
    Never share it with strangers.

18 Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
    Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.
    Let her breasts satisfy you always.
    May you always be captivated by her love.
20 Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman,
    or fondle the breasts of a promiscuous woman?

21 For the Lord sees clearly what a man does,
    examining every path he takes.
22 An evil man is held captive by his own sins;
    they are ropes that catch and hold him.
23 He will die for lack of self-control;
    he will be lost because of his great foolishness.

– Proverbs 5:1-23 NLT

20 My son, obey your father’s commands,
    and don’t neglect your mother’s instruction.
21 Keep their words always in your heart.
    Tie them around your neck.
22 When you walk, their counsel will lead you.
    When you sleep, they will protect you.
    When you wake up, they will advise you.
23 For their command is a lamp
    and their instruction a light;
their corrective discipline
    is the way to life.
24 It will keep you from the immoral woman,
    from the smooth tongue of a promiscuous woman.
25 Don’t lust for her beauty.
    Don’t let her coy glances seduce you.
26 For a prostitute will bring you to poverty,
    but sleeping with another man’s wife will cost you your life.
27 Can a man scoop a flame into his lap
    and not have his clothes catch on fire?
28 Can he walk on hot coals
    and not blister his feet?
29 So it is with the man who sleeps with another man’s wife.
    He who embraces her will not go unpunished.

30 Excuses might be found for a thief
    who steals because he is starving.
31 But if he is caught, he must pay back seven times what he stole,
    even if he has to sell everything in his house.
32 But the man who commits adultery is an utter fool,
    for he destroys himself.
33 He will be wounded and disgraced.
    His shame will never be erased.
34 For the woman’s jealous husband will be furious,
    and he will show no mercy when he takes revenge.
35 He will accept no compensation,
    nor be satisfied with a payoff of any size.

– Proverbs 6:20-35

Now that you’ve listened; now that you’ve read, consider this:

Barna group reports that Christians are just as likely to commit adultery as non-Christians. According to the Journal of Psychology and Christianity, nearly 65% of men and 55% of women are predicted to have an affair by the time they are 40. Let’s bring it closer to  home… Think of your five best friends. Odds are, 3 of your 5 closest friends are going to have an affair by the time they are 40.

Somewhat shocking statistics.

So, Lecrae’s call to pure devotion to your spouse, “your good woman,” is fitting for our time. The song is called runners because it opens with a guy who chooses to “run” on the treadmill at the gym instead of hitting the weights. Why does he skip the bench press? To flirt with and hit on some good looking lady.

The title runners also communicates this: we are supposed to “run” from situations where we put ourselves in jeopardy of doing something stupid.

In the song Lecrae says, “the lies and the lust keep lying next to us.” The over-reaching message is you don’t want to get involved with another woman. However, we are called to something higher as Christians who are committed to following Christ.

“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. So if your eye—even your good eye—causes you to lust, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your hand—even your stronger hand—causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

– Matthew 5:27-30

This opens up new problems. Jesus is saying that we who only lust (but don’t actually hook up with another woman) are no better than those who act out that lust (known as committing adultery) with another woman.

– Are you serious Jesus? You’re telling us that our righteousness must be better than the religious leaders of our day in order to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Then you go and say that if we lust we are breaking the law just as much as those who have extramarital sexual affairs? How then can we get into the Kingdom of Heaven?!?

Born a sinner just like any man standing

Couldn’t keep standing so God sent a stand-in

If you creepin’ when you feel desire creepin’

I know another way that don’t involve cheatin

The other way that Lecrae talks about is this: The power of Jesus Christ will set us free from the power of sin and death. Jesus declared if we follow him then we will gain eternal life. What’s better, Jesus gives us the Holy Spirit to empower us to stand strong in the moments of temptation.

So whether we cheat on our spouse in real life or in the digital gird, our hearts are just as broken and screwed up. Jesus is the one who can repair our hearts, cleanse our hearts, and help strengthen our hearts to follow his ways. Above we have some practical instruction from the book of Proverbs to not let ourselves fall into these situations or temptation in the first place. This is what Jesus meant when he said, “if your eye causes you to sin, gouge it out. Or if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off.” If you can avoid falling into a tempting situation, then do it at all costs.

I need to share a limb slicing, eye gouging practical help with you. Accountable 2 You is a computer accountability software. This is not internet accountability but device accountability software. Rather than only reporting on activity through a certain internet browser, this software reports all activity on all devices: computer, tablet, and mobile.

I pray you consider taking the advice of proverbs and run away from lust on the screen and in real life. Keep yourself from falling into situations where you meet with a lady other than your spouse. Flee from the pornographic digital traps by setting this software up and getting people who review your device activity.

Will you do it? Will you take this next step? Will you move in a forward direction to not become another statistic? Will you change the status quo.

Think about this: Pornography, adultery and divorce is normal. Come with me. Let’s be the new normal.

Accountability software shouldn’t be the abnormal, it should be the regular, the normal. It’s an eye gouging, limb slicing way to keep yourself on the right track with God.

I encourage you to get Accountable 2 You. Love your wife with it by giving her a peace that you’re not looking at pornography online. Let her see your device usage. She probably knows the stats, so make sure to think about it from her perspective: 64% of self-proclaimed Christian men look at porn at least monthly according to a recent survey from Barna Group and Proven Men Ministries. In the same survey, it was reported 65% of non-Christian men watch porn at least once a month.

Set up a system where you have a god-directed accountability relationship with someone. You’ll be putting the words of Jesus into practice. Try it for yourself; it’s freeing, liberating, and peace giving all at the same time!

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